How to Kill a Sale Without Really Trying

Why are men continuing to lose sales due to poisonous gender-stereotyping habits? Let’s explore this phenomenon further.

There are, in my opinion, three fundamental reasons many men perpetuate gender-stereotyping, or g-s: ignorance, arrogance, and belligerence. Ignorance, in that some men are simply oblivious to the g-s phenomenon, its impact on women and how easily it can turn a good female customer into a lost customer. Other men are aware of g-s dynamics but stubbornly refuse to bend or acknowledge its impact on their own companies. When a female client is lost rarely, if ever, do these groups of men consider the possibility that g-s may be the root cause. Finally, there are men who sneer at the mere mention of gender-stereotyping, are generally competitive with women and fervently believe it’s still a man’s world. If it ever was, that reality is changing.

Why are women undertaking entrepreneurship in ever-greater numbers? The reasons might surprise you, since men and women choose self-employment for very different reasons. Women start businesses in order to make better use of their skills, to better manage home and work priorities, and because they tend to give back to the community in a more direct way. If this sounds like a recipe for home-based businesses aimed at other women, think again. Since the early '90s, the number of female-owned small businesses with employees rose by 40% (while the number of male-owned businesses with employees didn't grow at all), and a mere one-fifth of female entrepreneurs say that their businesses are targeting other women.

At the same time, a significant number of women are frustrated by unequal treatment in the marketplace. Likeable, friendly men are 'great guys', while being a nice person as a woman is seen as not being tough enough. Friendly women are often perceived as flirtatious, even if there is nothing overtly sexual about their words or behaviour. A woman's advancement or success is often attributed by men as based on sexuality rather than competence. An aggressive man is seen as ambitious, and having a great future. An aggressive woman is simply a bitch. We men tend to color our communication with women based on these unconscious assumptions. Without realizing it the wrong word or assumption can instantly turn a female business prospect into a lost sale.

Don't assume that every woman you meet in business has a husband who's "really" in charge. Don’t assume that if a woman has a male business partner, he’s her spouse. Watch your words.

Language continues to create and emphasize barriers, so it's worth repeating to ‘watch your words’. Even adjectives that are intended as positive are often inappropriate and belittling if you wouldn't apply them to a man in the same situation ("feisty" or "sassy"). Gender neutral language is exactly that - neutral - and it doesn't have to be cumbersome - you don't have to use fireman and firewoman, just use firefighter. Avoid referring to a "female doctor," as though being female is somehow either relevant or unusual. And remember that your professional approach in the eyes of a woman is completely and instantly undone when you refer to "the girl in the office". I am still amazed at how many men, whether in their 20’s or 70’s, use the word “girl” in reference to a woman in business. To be fair, it doesn’t help matters when women use “girl” in the same frame of reference.

Women and men aren't the same, but they are equal. We have a choice. We can be the men who lose sales as a result of gender-stereotyping and an unconscious use of the wrong words, or we can be the enlightened men who win those sales. Granted, becoming enlightened takes work, practice and intelligence, but the dividends can be so worth it. Whether men are selling products, services or business loans, contracts with women and women-run companies are ours to lose. Think about it.

Tangent Strategies can teach you and your salespeople to win sales instead of losing them as a result of poisonous gender-stereotyping habits. Go forward in 2007 with a new approach to selling. Call or e-mail Tangent Strategies right now to schedule an eye-opening strategy meeting.